Hearts without chains
by amy-ashcroft
Summary: My take on how I want the show to go. Rated T for language and some content, may go up in future chapters. Amy/Karma endgame.
1. Daydreaming

**A/N: This story starts out with Shane and Amy's conversation in the season preview, and then it will go into slight au. Just my take on how I want the show to go. **

**I do not own Faking It or any of the characters. **

_I wanna get out and build my own home_

_On a street where reality is not much different from dreams I've had_

_A dream is all I have... _

-Paramore, Daydreaming

«Is everything okay?» Shane asked as he walked into Amy's bedroom, closing the door behind him. She sat on her bed, feet bouncing lightly, and her fingers tapped against her knees.

«Yeah, everything's.. fine.» Amy managed to say, looking anywhere but at Shane. She needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand her, who wouldn't judge her for who she was. She had gone over this a hundred times the past hours, pacing around in her room, until she finally decided to call the one person she knew she could talk to about this.

«Why did you call? Is Karma okay?» Shane sat down next to her on the bed, studying the girl, trying to get her to meet his eyes.

The blonde took a deep breath, before finally meeting the boy's worried eyes. «Karma and I are faking being lesbians. Karma is.» Amy could feel her whole body ache with the truth in the words that were flowing out of her mouth. «I'm not so sure.» Shane raised his eyebrows in surprise.

«You have my attention.»

And Amy took it. The words were flowing out from her mouth, beyond her control. She told Shane that she had never been in a relationship, not a real one anyways. She'd kissed guys, but she'd never been really attracted to them, and she just thought that she hadn't met the one yet. She talked about how she and Karma had been best friends since kindergarten, and that she knew it would be a bad idea to lead everyone onto believing that they were lesbians, just so Karma could get her crown, popularity, and of course her dream guy. It could only end badly, right? And things went fine until they got to the gym for the homecoming assembly. They were used to holding hands, they did it all the time in private, and they also cuddled and shared the same bed during sleepovers. She had never really thought any about it, it was perfectly natural for them to be that close, like they always had. But when Lauren called them out, and Amy had grabbed her best friend, pulling her in for a kiss, she knew she was fucked from the second their lips met.

None of her kisses with guys had ever felt like that. She could feel her heart beating rapidly, she could see fireworks behind her eyes, cheesy as that was, and everything but Karma was just blocked out. Everything she was aware of in those moments she had Karma pulled flush against her, was the scent of the other girl's shampoo and perfume, how her lips tasted, and how their bodies felt like they were made for being like that forever, like puzzle pieces.

After that, everything she could think about was being close to Karma, touching her, kissing her. And they did. They held hands almost always when they were together at school, and they had also kissed a few times, some just a light peck, some a little longer.

But in the end, it was all for show, for Karma at least. Amy only got her during the day, but after school, it was all Liam. They were hanging out almost every day, and Amy couldn't help but feel left behind. The past three Fridays she had gone to parties with Karma, only for the brunette to leave her to run of with Liam. The rest of the weekends were mostly spent alone, watching Netflix or blasting music to shut her thoughts out. She couldn't help but feeling jealous. For so long, it had been just her and Karma, best friends, spending all their free time together. They only had each other, no one else. And then, she suddenly had to share her with someone else, someone she barely knew, someone who was pretty much taking up all of Karma's time, which left Amy with almost nothing. The sudden realization of her feeling didn't help her either. Knowing that Liam was probably kissing Karma, touching her, and God knows what other things. All that Amy would never get to do.

Amy felt like she had been talking for hours, which she probably had. Shane just sat there though, listening to her, taking her hand at one point and giving it a reassuring squeeze to keep her going after she had been drifting off, seeming to be spiraling into deep thought. She didn't manage to continue now though. She felt drained, and her thoughts were running at hundreds of miles per hour. It was just so loud in there. She suddenly felt tears starting to roll down her cheeks, but she quickly dried them, doing her best to hold back the ones that were still threatening to spill. Shane wordlessly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her into an one-armed hug, her head resting on his shoulder. The boy gave Amy's shoulders a light squeeze to comfort her.

«It's okay to cry, Amy. You're going through a lot right now, it would almost be weird if you don't feel anything at all,» Shane said, feeling the blonde nod a bit.

«I'm just scared,» she said. It was true, she was terrified about all this. «I just.. I just don't want to lose her. She's all I have, she's all I've had for so long, she's like my soulmate, my.. my other half, if that makes any sense.» She took a deep breath, blinking away the tears that started to form in her eyes again. She knew that if she was gay or bi or whatever, Karma wouldn't care. The brunette would support her, and their relationship would probably be just the same. But what if she knew that Amy was developing feelings for her, falling for her, hard and fast? A small voice in Amy's head told her that then Karma would pull away even more, if not completly out of her life. But she also knew that it would take more than that to ruin their friendship, to ruin the relationship they had spent over ten years building. But with the distance already there between them, maybe it would be easier than it should be.

«Amy, can I ask you something?» Shane asked. The blonde leaned back, sitting up again, and shrugged, looking into Shane's eyes. «If this is making you so miserable, why do you keep doing it?»

The girl took a moment to answer, her brows furrowed in thought for a second. Then she gave the boy a watery smile. «I just want her to be happy. That's all I ever wanted for her.»


	2. Stay

**A/N: Thanks for all the response to the first chapter. :) And also, sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language, so all faults are on me. **

_I'm not strong enough for the both of us_

_What was I supposed to do? _

_You know I love you _

-Mayday Parade, Stay

After Amy and Shane had talked, they had decided to watch a movie, and talk about things that weren't as heavy as their previous conversation. After the movie finished, Shane left, having to be reassured by the blonde a dozen times that she would be okay, and making her promise that she would call him if she needed to talk again, or just hang out.

Amy didn't sleep at all that night. She sat up, thinking about everything, resenting herself for being so troubled by this. Karma was happy, that was all that mattered. _But what about your own happiness?_ she suddenly thought. She deserved to be happy, too, just as much as Karma did. She should probably get herself her own secret boyfriend, someone to keep her busy, to keep her thoughts off her best friend. Maybe it was a fase. Maybe her feelings would go as soon as they had come. _They won't._

When Amy's alarm went off, without her getting a minute of sleep, she decided to stay home. She was feeling worse than hell, and she needed to rest. She could also use a day away from it all, away from all the pretending, away from being someone's fake girlfriend.

She quickly texted Karma that she wouldn't come to school, before she burried herself under the covers, putting her earplugs in and listening to her sleeping playlist. She had tried that during the night as well, but nothing seemed to shut down her thoughts then. Now, Amy was simply just too exhausted to think, to feel, to do anything.

_Not feeling too well, staying home_

* * *

Karma frowned down at her phone, texting Amy to feel better soon. She had noticed that her friend had seemed a bit off the past weeks, especially the last couple of days. It was probably for the best that she was going to stay home and relax, freshen up a bit.

The school day was pretty much the same as always; people talking with her wherever she went, eating lunch with Liam, Shane and Ivy, even though it felt incomplete without Amy there with them. When school was over, she decided to take a couple of Amy's books with her, so she could stop by her house and check in on her.

On her way over to her best friend's house, Karma also stopped by their favorite bakery to buy something to eat for both of them, knowing that Amy would cheer up by her favorite chocolate covered donuts.

* * *

«Amy, are you upstairs?» a voice called, startling her from her sleep. Amy sat up, looking around. She was at home, the sun was filling the room with bright light, and she felt like she had been hit by a bus. She also noticed that she also was wearing her clothes from the day before, not thinking about what she was wearing when she went to sleep that morning. Suddenly, the door opened, and Karma looked in.

«Hey, how are you feeling?» Karma asked as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her, her voice soft and calm. «Wait, have you been sleeping until now?»

Amy shrugged, studying her best friend as she walked in, taking in her outfit as she sat down on the bed next to her. She tried to ignore her heart that had started beating faster, and Amy looked up into Karma's questioning eyes, blushing a bit for seemingly getting caught checking her best friend out.

«Well, I brought you food and hot chocolate, so here,» Karma handed the bag from the bakery to Amy. The blonde gave her a small smile, before opening the bag, taking a sip from the hot chocolate. «Oh, and before I forget, I brought you some school books. I wasn't sure which ones you needed, so I just took some at random.»

Amy put the cup of hot chocolate and the bag with food on the nightstand, looking at Karma with eyebrows raised. «Karma, why are you here?»

The brunette seemed a bit taken aback by the question and the tone of Amy's voice, so she put her bag down on the floor, and turned to face her friend completely. «Am I not allowed to visit you when you're sick anymore?»

Suddenly something snapped inside of her, and her anger took control as she spoke. «So that's what it takes, huh? I have to be sick for you to finally spare a moment for me?»

«What do you even mean by that?»

«You just never spend time with me anymore, so why start now all of a sudden?»

Karma stood up and grabbed her bag. «I don't wanna talk with you when you're like this. I don't know what's going on with you anymore, Amy.» The brunette started walking towards the door, and Amy mentally slapped herself for acting like this. Just because she was miserable, she shouldn't take it out on the one person she cared about more than anything else.

Amy shot up, and rushed to Karma before she had gotten completly out the door. She grabbed the shorter girl's hand to stop her. «Karm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out on you like that. Please stay.» The blonde looked into her best friend's eyes, silently begging her to accept the apology and stay there with her.

Karma gave her a small smile, lacing their fingers together. «Netflix has finally updated their library, if you're up for that.» Amy grinned, and lead Karma to her bed, before letting go of her hand and walking to her closet. She instantly missed the warmth of the hand, but she needed new clothes, and to fix her messed up hair. Amy went to the bathroom and quickly changing to a clean pair of jeans, and a red and white baseball tee she found in her closet. She just put her hair in a messy bun, before she returned to the bedroom.

Karma was sitting on her bed, a pillow propped up between her back and the headboard, her Macbook in her lap. Amy went over to sit next to her, mimicking her position. She stared at the screen as she spoke, not daring to look at her best friend, who seemed to be even more gorgeous now after she'd been a day without her. «I'm sorry for lashing out earlier. I didn't mean it like that, I just.. I just miss you, and the times when it used to be just you and me.» Amy hugged her knees to her chest, her eyes still locked on the Netflix logo on the Mac. She was usually always open about her feelings when it came to Karma, but she hated feeling this _vulnerable_.

Karma pushed the Macbook of her lap, turning to study Amy. Maybe that's why she's been acting so weird lately. Karma put her arms around the blonde, and rested her chin on Amy's arm, looking at her friend. «I'm sorry, Amy. You should've said something, I had no idea you felt that way..»

Amy had trouble breathing with Karma being right there, body pressed against her, head rested on her arm, only inches away. _She's only trying to comfort you, Amy, get a grip. _She didn't think when she leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, hugging the brunette as good as she could from her position. «No, don't be sorry. You didn't know.» _I don't deserve you._

Amy looked into Karma's deep, green eyes, and smiled. Karma took her right hand and stroked Amy's cheek, before leaning back, pulling the computer back up in her lap. After discussing for a long time, they ended up with a classic movie instead of one of the new ones, A Cinderella Story, because Karma insisted on a romantic comedy. They also rearranged the pillows, so that they were sitting right next to each other. Amy had an arm around Karma's shoulders, the latter putting her head on the blonde's shoulder, cuddling up against her left side while they saw the movie and ate the donuts. If Karma noticed how fast Amy's heart was beating, and only increased each time she nuzzled closer to the blonde, she didn't say anything.


	3. I wanna be yours

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay, I was busy with work all weekend, and then I had school so I didn't have much time or motivation to write. I'm sorry that this chapter is so short, but I wanted to update the fic to maybe get out from the writers block I'm currently in, and rather start working on a longer chapter after that. But yeah, here it is, chapter three. Enjoy!**

_**UPDATE JUNE 31ST: I'm so sorry for never updating, I'm stuck in a terrible writers block. Nothing I manage to get down is even remotely good, so.. I had a pretty clear plan for where I was going with this fic based on the previews after episode one, but now after all the episodes, I'm just stuck. So I'm putting this fic on a hiatus. Right now I doubt that I will continue this, but who knows. **_

_**Thank you all so much for you reviews, follows, just for sticking with this fic. I'm sorry for this, you're all amazing. xxx**_

_Secrets I have held in my heart  
Are harder to hide than I thought  
Maybe I just wanna be yours  
I wanna be yours_

-Arctic Monkeys, I wanna be yours

«Who would hand out homework on Fridays? It totally ruins the whole idea of the weekend!» Karma exclaimed, shutting the book and pushing it away from herself. She looked over to where Amy was sitting, only to see that her best friend was staring out the window, clearly in deep thought. Karma picked up a pillow and threw it at Amy, making the girl yelp in surprise.

«Hey!»

«Have you been listening to anything that I've been saying?» Karma asked. Amy only gave her a small shrug, before looking back out the window. Karma got out of the bed and stood in front of where Amy had her gaze locked. She bent down so that she was in eye height with the other girl. «Is everything alright? You seem a bit out of it.»

Amy looked away for a second, before meeting Karma's eyes. «Yeah, I just.. I have a lot on my mind, that's all.»

«Do you wanna talk about it?»

«No, I.. not really.» Amy said, looking everywhere but at Karma. The brunette sighed, and went to sit back down on the bed, looking a bit hurt that her best friend wouldn't open up to her. Amy sighed and went to sit down on the bed as well, facing Karma.

«Should we plan the campaign for the next couple of weeks?» Amy asked, changing the subject, and Karma seemed to lighten up a bit right away. «It's only two weeks left until prom, so.»

«Well, we're totally going to continue this, faking it in public, and then maybe we could make pins and stickers that we can hand out? We could have a picture of us, and write ''Karmy'' or something like that on it!» Karma said enthusiastic.

«Karmy?»

«You know, Karma and Amy. Karmy,» Karma explained.

Amy smiled at her friend, feeling like a thousand butterflies was released in her stomach. Karma had actually thought of a name for them. «Oh, that's awesome.» The brunette grinned, but then seemed a little thoughtful for a moment.

«We should probably practice though.» She said, and Amy furrowed her brows in confusion, which Karma noticed and quickly explained. «Like, kissing. It has to be convincing, especially when we get our crowns.»

Amy's mind went blank for a moment. _Practicing? Kissing? _«What? Like, now?» Karma didn't respond. She just grinned and leaned in, giving Amy a light peck on the lips. She pulled back a little to see the other girl's reaction, only to see that Amy had instantly closed her eyes upon the touch. When Karma didn't kiss her again, the blonde opened her eyes to look at her friend. This time, Amy was the one to lean in first.

This kiss was quite like the one they shared at the homecoming assembly, except now they were more familiar with each others touch, and, of course, they were alone, in Karma's bedroom. After a moment, Amy's hands went up to Karma's face, touching her cheeks, neck, hair, everything she could. After a while, Amy felt Karma open her mouth, her tongue sliding across her bottom lip. Amy parted her lips, their tongues touching briefly, before she pulled back, slightly out of breathe and face flushed.

«Woah,» Karma said, reaching out to push Amy's hair behind her ears. The blonde had no control of herself in that moment, and started to lean in again as Karma's phone beeped loudly, causing the blonde to jump back a bit. The girl picked up her phone, reading the text she had gotten.

«Oh, there's a party tonight at Shane's house!» Karma said, and looked up at Amy with bright eyes. Amy sighed and shrugged, giving her friend the best smile she could manage.

«We'll postpone our Netflix marathon then.» Amy stated, and Karma made an excited sound as she wrapped her arms around Amy, hugging her tight. «Best girlfriend ever!» she exlaimed when she pulled back, giving the blonde a wink before she walked towards her closet, everything that had happened in the past few minutes long forgotten as she considered what to wear.

With Karma's back towards her, Amy threw herself back on the bed and covered her face with her hands, taking a deep, unsteady breath. _I'm in way too deep._


End file.
